Refurbished Souls

We just recently subscribed to NetFlix which we love by the way. I received a long awaited DVD in the mail a few days ago that I was really excited to watch. About 15 minutes into the film...jump, jump, freeze. Yep, thats right. I took it out of the player and cleaned it off. There were some deep stratches that were not mendable. To my disappoinment, it was labeled "damaged" and sent back to NetFlix.

I got to thinking about how we are a lot like DVDs and CDs. They are discs that hold beautiful music and pictures. We are designed to play beautiful music through the living of our lives. Sin and abuse grind into our souls and leave deep painful scratches during different seasons of our lives. Our lives can fall apart literally in moments.

The CD will not work as designed, music may start to skip, and will eventually be unable to play. I think some of us probably get used to the damage and the stratches and de-value ourselves. If we go to the Lord and confide in Him who makes us whole He has the power to "re-furbish" our soul and renew our minds. The scratches may still there but they are covered and healed through His sacrifice and we are again able to play the beautiful music we were designed to play.

I have been reminded daily in the recent weeks and months that the Lord desires to heal our hearts and our spirits. Sometimes the difficulties that we face are merely an avenue to bring us closer to Him. I see the pain so many others endure and I cannot help but think that is it partly a love cry from the Lord that He wants to be your source of healing, comfort and joy.

It is my prayer that no matter what you are facing, that you draw close to Him.

Being Real Amidst "Reality"

I'm sitting here, watching some reality television (The Real Housewives...please don't tell anyone!), thinking about the issue of being real. To be honest, this is the first time I've watched it (the Atlanta group anyway), so it is a bit confusing, since I don't know all the characters, and their back stories, etc. But because it is "reality" TV I can watch knowing that there will be some transparency, back-story filled in, strategic editing, so that I can get hooked into the "real drama" created by sticking a group of sassy ladies in a social circle with cameras following their every move.

I actually think that everyday life and real people are much more interesting than reality TV. But... in real life, people are so much harder to get to "know" since we don't always share our struggles along with our strengths. I think that we all have ways that we'd like to present ourselves. I know for me I would like people to see me as a cheerful, helpful person with a delightful litle family. Of course, the reality is that while I may truly be those things sometimes, I can obviously be cranky, unhelpful, and sometimes my little Julia is NOT much fun to be around.

I think that one of the hardest places to be real for many people is, unfortunately, in a Christian community. I think there is often the temptation to present an image of having it "all together" at church and with church friends. (I suspect that people even censor or edit their prayer requests!) But I think it's also somewhere that it really "pays off" to be real with other people, if it is truly a community of people who love Christ. If I can't be real about issues or struggles I have, especially within the church, then I don't want to be there. I want to be somewhere that it's safe to struggle, to need prayer, to need encouragement and support. And to actually be able to receive it.I believe that my closest friends are those who share my faith and they see me, all of me...the good, the bad, and the very ugly. The beauty of it is that they love me anyway.

I am so thankful to have this family that walks along side of us in our struggles as parents and husband and wife. There is trust, compassion and encouragement surrounding us. Receiving this love compells Tom and I to live this way as well. I can honestly say that my relationship with the Lord is strengthened and nurtured when I am in the presence of others who love Him. There is a connection with these folks in our lives...a connection that is deeper, I believe, than what our culture sees as "family" because it is rooted in the blood of Jesus. I am thankful to be a part of a "faith family" who desires to love, no matter what. I know that I can be unlovely at times and I am so very thankful that they love me, pray for me and encourage me every step of the way.

*I don't usually "name call" but there are a few people that have especially made an impact on me as a wife and mother. Mom, Jillian, Gretchen, Deborah and Christy---you have without a doubt encouraged me in ways you may never know. Thank you for being used by the Lord to encourage me and love me. Your tender words and sweet spirits have made unbearable moments bearable...even beautiful. I love you ladies and how you have made my life so sweet.

Godly Parenting

Sometimes I get discouraged in parenting little Miss. There are days when defiance is her mantra and there is no changing her mind. I have learned that I need to press on and keep focused on the goal. For Tom and I, the goal in parenting is to lead Julia in a way that will guide her to a strong relationship with the Lord and a passion for Him. With that in mind, confronting her attitude with mine does little to achieve that. :) With that said, i'd like to share a poem written by Lee Wise who is the author of Godly Parenting.

The Challenge of Godly Parenting

Knowing when to encourage
and when to exhort,

When to release
and when to restrict,

When to correct
and when to assist,

When to give hope
and when to warn,

And most of all...

Knowing never to stop loving,
being a friend and praying --
as if their lives depended on it.

Because... they do.


I encourage you as mothers, fathers, and friends to cling to these words. They are powerful. The greatest way that we can show love to our children is to pray for them and guide them to His saving grace. There is nothing more tender in this world than for me to hear Julia's sweet voice lifting the ones she loves in prayer. She prays fervently with all belief in God's healing and power. If we could all have the faith that is bottled up in her mere 2 1/2 years...

Tom and I have really been digging deep into our life together and what God intended for us as husband and wife. I think so many times it is easy take the advice of our culture and "do whatever is good for you." What Tom and I have realized is that when we seek to feed our own selfish ambitions and we do not stay within the guidelines that God created for us we fail miserably personally. When I willfully choose the world over the plan that our creator has for me I find myself filled with more discontent than I started with. So I hope to share with you what we've learned along the way. By no means am I saying that we have it all together or we never disagree. We disagree and it is not pretty, but we do have the same goal and that is to serve the Lord together, side by side.

The Bible teaches that at creation God assigned differing roles to both man and woman. Man was created to work and keep the garden. Woman was designed to help man in his tasks. They each had two very distinct and differing roles. However, they were both created in God’s image, and therefore, their roles were equal in value, but differing in function. These roles were assigned before sin entered the picture. After the fall of man, Adam continued to provide for his family and Eve would be the bearer and nurturer of the children. The punishments because of the sin did not change their roles; it simply complicated the already existing roles. When Adam and Eve hid in the garden, Adam was called upon first by God, even though Eve had committed the sin first. Why? Clearly God placed Adam as the leader, but Adam chose to be passive. Eve had the role of helper, but had violated it, taking leadership. The roles were reversed during the fall of man, when the first sin occured. I think that it is interesting to note that the "original" sin occured when Adam and Eve did not stay within the marital guidelines God had laid out for them.


In the New Testament, the roles of husband and wife are symbolic of Christ and His church. In Ephesians 5 it says Christian men are to lovingly lay down their lives for their wives. They still maintain leadership, but this must be servant leadership. Husbands are not to demand obedience, but by their humility, guide their family. In 1 Peter it says husbands are to honor their wives. The biblical roles for men continue through the Old Testament and into the New Testament: man is meant to lead and lovingly serve his wife.

In Proverbs 31 God exalts womanhood in the home, and places great value on it. Woman’s role from creation has not changed. In Titus 2, Paul commends women to love their husbands and children. Women are to follow their husband’s leadership with respect, choosing to submit to that leadership. 1 Peter states that when wives submit to their husband’s leadership, they are doing it as service to God. A woman can be a great blessing and help to her husband, just as Eve was to Adam at the beginning of creation. For me I have struggled with feelings of inadequacy because I am not cut out to stay home. I. Just. Can't. Do. It. Period. I have wrestled with this because biblically a woman's first priority is to her husband, family, and home life. However, I have realized that I can have a career and still fulfill my role as a wife and mother. I may just need a little more help in the time management department. :)

I found more joy and contentment in my life when I seriously began to model my life through God's design for me. I have learned that there is such freedom in not being in control and not WANTING to be in control. There is so much freedom in not trying to steer our family in the direction I think we should go. There is so much freedom in simply respecting my husband and nurturing my child. It is my hope that God is doing the same work in your lives. Mariiage is such a beautiful thing and I am so thankful for the blessing of my husband, my friend, my protector.

Relish in the Change

Life as we know it can change in a blink of an eye, literally a millisecond. I have been reminded by this fact often lately as a dear friend of mine is fighting for her life.

Change is sometimes joyfully accepted, but for me change is sometimes riddled with fear and discontent. If I do not anticipate a situation, it brings unwelcome feelings of angst for me. Some change brings feelings of discomfort, even intense heartache. In those moments I find myself pleading that the Lord would remove this change from our lives. I long for the day that just moments ago seemed so ordinary. So typical.

Quite often God's timing is not ours. We must wait on Him, deal with Him, and most importantly delight in Him despite our selfish desires. Sometimes in particularly difficult circumstances I have to focus on choosing the Lord over my fears. I know that may seem silly, but fear and the joy of the Lord cannot co-exist. I am choosing one or the other. When I am fearful and worried, I am saying "God, you aren't good enough." That is a powerful statement.

"Lord, I understand that change is an expression of your will in my life and I am thankful to have the opportunity to wait and relish in the change that you lay before me."

Learning and Teaching...all at the same time.

Lately I've been thinking about the impressions that I'm leaving on my sweet Julia as a mother. I know heavy stuff, huh? It's been very humbling to realize that I know absolutely nothing about raising a child to know and love Jesus. I feel that Tom and I are very intentional when it comes to planting seeds of faith in her life yet I never feel like I'm doing enough. Every day I feel as though I'm just blindly directing her and guiding her, and praying that somehow she'll see Jesus and His love for her despite my faulty parenting. Tom and I have completed quite a few Bible studies on the subject of parenting and read several awesome books on the topic. I want us to be intentional parents, to have a game plan and ultimately see our child come to the saving knowledge of Christ. Right now we are what she sees, i hope that she sees Jesus in me.

We are extremely blessed to be surrounded by wonderful Christian families who have the same desires to raise their children to know and love Jesus. How awesome it is to be inspired and have the support of other young families along the way.

Still, the feelings of inadequacy set in. I can justify myself saying that we do all the "Christian" things with our child. We take her to Church, we pray before meals, say bedtime prayers, we talk about God and His hand in everyday life and read Bible stories. We focus on the fruits of the spirit and we are striving to train her in first time obedience. However, sometimes I have to check myself. Am I doing these things because I love Jesus with such a fierce passion that my hearts desire is for my child to love Jesus with all her heart? Or is it just my pride motivating me to strive towards these things? I mean really, who wants a poorly behaved child. I have to catch myself and remember that the goal is not behavior, but a heart attitude that gleams for Jesus.

I have been praying fervently, and will for as long as I'm her mom, for wisdom in training Miss Julia to love and life daily for God. Obviously I believe that ultimately it's all up to God as to whether or not she will live her life for Him or not. I am also aware that I am going to make many mistakes along the way, but as Christian parents we clearly have an obligation to teach our children intentionally and diligently. You know what my mind keeps coming back to? The scripture where Jesus tells the people that the glass is dirty on the inside but clean on the outside. I need to first look at my own personal relationship with God before I'm too quick to harp on my child's sin and shortcomings. When I think about the impression I want to leave on my child, I want her to know I love Jesus, but I also want her to realize that I'm not any better than her and I'm on the same journey she is....to love the Lord and serve Him until he takes me home. :)

Little Green Peas.

Little green peas brightly contrast our grey colored carpet. Colorful halves of Easter eggs peek out among the socks in the drawer. A carton of sour cream hides among the bright fruits and vegetables in the refrigerator drawer. Life seems to be a juxtaposition of unlikely objects in my role as mother of an adventurous, curious toddler. Miss Julia's daily life is a series of the struggles highlighting opposing pairings. From sucking her thumb and wanting to be held like a little baby to demanding to dress herself, her behavior is a study of opposites. The mother’s life too reflects the often uneasy pairing of the polished professional woman with the sometimes (most of the time) frazzled, uncertain or exasperated mother of a young child. There is I believe a lesson to be learned in these contrasts. My life is enriched by the unexpected, popping up in refreshing ways, keeping me alert and reminding me not to sit too comfortably in one place for too long. A spatula hiding under the bed? Well, why not?

I am learning to slow down, enjoy and soak it all in. I've learned to find joy in the chaos and embrace the unexpected...